1. |
Lonely Moonshine
02:28
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Oh look at the time
It's quarter to five
I've got to go to the dep
Please don't slip on the steps
Even back in the day
When I was a real player
I couldn't catch her eye
Believe me, I tried
CHORUS
Lonely moonshine
Shiny lonely moon
I hope you come home soon
At nine o'clock last night
I woke with a start
I was sweating like mad
But it's only a fad
Last year about this same time
I was green in the gills
I took me some pills
It was only gingivitus
CHORUS
A crumbly cookie couch
Now that was just my imagination
Maybe if I lay down
I will be able to frown
All the milk has gone sour
But I still drink it
It doesn't make me nauseaus
I try to be cautious
CHORUS X2
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2. |
My Two Baby Girls
01:37
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Quick, quick, before it runs out
It's getting away from you there
I don't mean to shout
But I'm afraid of your reclining chair
Look, there it goes across the yard
Try not to get tangled in the ivy
I know that your vision is hard
But your liver is really quite lively
CHORUS
Hanging from the clothesline
Dripping with pearls
Lost in a dumpster
My two baby girls
If you follow it to a conclusion
I think you'll find it makes sense
And living alone in seclusion
Is worse than a new picket fence
Eat the meatballs right now
I seasoned them my very own self
They're formed from the heart of a cow
And aged on the very top shelf
CHORUS
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3. |
Cavity
01:00
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My tooth hurts
I tried to pull it out but it was stuck
I've got bad luck
I always brush often
But apparently I don't brush often enough
My life is tough
Take away candy
It's obviously rotted my enamel away
What a sad day
I'll visit the dentist
He'll lecture me about flossing and other dental hygene issues
He offer me tissues
He'll drill my tooth
And he won't offer me novocain first because I deserve to suffer
What a tough lover
I'll show the filling
To all of my friends and aquaintances so that they will be impressed
After I'll rest
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4. |
Seaman Is Dead
01:33
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Seaman is dead
Sing a song of sorrow
He didn't get fed
We'll bury him tomorrow
His smile was so sweet
His eyes always glimmered
In heaven we'll meet
For now I will simmer
He spoke with such grace
With precision and wit
I remember his face
A lopsided twit
I know I forgot
To feed him for weeks
But it was not
My intention
A single tear I shed
For his passing was sad
My heart has now bled
But my spirit is glad
Long live the Seaman
A fish with a face
He was but a wee man
With a wet embrace
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5. |
Ice Skating
02:35
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Wait wait wait
I thought I said
Didn't you understand me
I wish you were dead
CHORUS
Touch the giblets
Lick my chin
Rub up against some leather
Ice skating
Please please please
Go away right now
No I can't talk
I'm on the phone
CHORUS
Yes yes yes
Of course I understand
I speak english too
Please stop speaking French
CHORUS
Up up up
The temperature is rising
I have a good thermometer
I like mercury
CHORUS
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6. |
So You Want To Break Up
02:59
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Ok, so I lied about being a man
Look just be glad I'm still attracted to you
No, I don't expect you to still go out with me
But can we still sleep together?
If you insist on going away
At least take your smelly underwear with you
I don't appreciate the way you soil the bed
Especially when I have to sleep in it
So, does my ambiguous sex make you uncomfortable
I could wear a strap on to ease your mind
If you'd just calm down for a second
You'd see that it's actually a very interesting viewpoint
Sure, kick me out if you want to
I don't mind living on the street
I can turn tricks for lots of money
Not everybody is as uptight as you
A year from now you'll see me and wonder
How I survived in the street all alone
But you'll be pushing a stroller with a kid in it
And living with a well-off man
I don't mind if you start wearing cardigans
And sweatpants with buttons up the sides
You can join the Rotary club for all I care
It's certainly no skin off my nose
Will you enjoy your bridge games at the home?
I think you'll miss my mysterious pelvis
It's my understanding most old men are incontinent
Not that you care about the urinary tract
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7. |
Dopey Soap
01:50
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Skree skra in the mee maw
Dump the sump pump
You dopey soap
I hope you are a kaleidescope
Botch the swatch watch
Meet and greet elite
Mayors and soothsayers
Please pass the ketchup
Jitter and twitter
Glitter for fitter sitters
If it is a swift lift
Sift a new sniff
Keep up the hose
Give me one of those
He's not what I chose
Stop wearing clothes
Cats and bats with hats
Kitten mittens
Sit in the kitchen
That would be bitchin
Maybe we could go there
Turn right at the light
Duck under the bridge
She won't move a smidge
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8. |
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You are lost to the world
Your brain is oozing toast
What was left of the cheese
A red station wagon
Don't leave the door open
It's cold outside
My mind is a meat locker
Passion fruit is smelly
CHORUS
Even if you go away
You come back after you leave
You leave after you come back
You return later
Teach me how to read
My syllable is missing
A watch stopped ticking
Please clean the table
Yesterday was a nice thing
Icicles on the balcony
The cat puked on the sofa
Germantown is a nice place
CHORUS
Leave the dishes for me
I enjoy scrubbing bubbles
Rinse off the skis
I skinned my knees
CHORUS
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9. |
Hoidle
01:34
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CHORUS
You are all tartar sauce
Dripping on the table
Only the bad guys get killed
Hoidle Hoidle Hoidle
You guys are Hoidle animals
They are square with a head
It's not a giraffe or a dinosaur
It's just a made up thing
With a beak that goes up high
And snaps at her from earth
CHORUS
You are Hoidle Hoidle
All the ice the months
All even in summer
or in the spring
or in the fall
There's two, they never die,
They never get old
You are Hoidles
CHORUS
It can snap all the planets off earth
Higher than earth
Into outer space
Higher than space
The space the galaxy
To the end of the galaxy
Your necks get longer as you grow older
You are Hoidles
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10. |
Make Me Mutatinous
02:47
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Tinkertoys tell a tall tale
Fudging fingers fiddle with me
Please put away the pot
It smells like snake
CHORUS
Make me mutatinous
Marshmellow mush
Meet my moot point
What a nice joint
Alliteration leaves little room
Let's stop now
Take the bark away
Bite off the tip
CHORUS
Push button programming
Television gum
Chew on that you scoundrel
CHORUS
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11. |
Resolutions
01:57
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Take a long trip to Hong Kong
Build my own bong
Get comfortable wearing a thong
Write a new song
Make carrots and peas
Try a new cheese
Cover my face when I sneeze
Try not to freeze
Buy a new crayon
Wear lots more rayon
Get my glasses to stay on
Learn to use a bayonette
Stab a few folks
Learn some new jokes
Hope my rich aunt croaks
Start saying 'blokes'
These are my resolutions
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12. |
One More
01:23
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One more for the road
One more for the pasture
One more for the little child
Sleeping in my lap
One more for the flag
One more for my country
One more for the fleas
That torment my cat
One more for the team
One more for management
One more for the cubicle
That I love so much
One more for the cops
One more for the albatross
One more for the mouse
That lives in my house
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Future Boy Seattle, Washington
Future Boy has been releasing music on the internet since August, 2003 when he entered his first Songfight.
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