I am constantly trying to solve
So many problems that can't be resolved
Since they haven't actually occurred
And the contents are merely inferred
From a model that formed in my brain
Based on details that I've ascertained
During limited interactions
That involved many strong emotions
I imagine myself as the cause
The effect is to point out my flaws
Then my shame makes me raise a defense
Which is fragile and lacks coherence
I can't convey anything to repair
All of the harm that I've done unaware
I'm afraid of the change to be made
I focus on losses instead of the gains
I think that I'm smarter and better prepared
I don't want to admit I feel helpless and scared
If I'm not the one calling the shots
Will anyone praise my incredible thoughts
Will the future remember my name
Will my struggling all be in vain
My mind circles until I feel lost
I want it to stop but I can't turn it off